downfuckingpunx :: Recent Entries

Title:	Relationships.
Date:	2008-10-16 @ 06:39
Security:	public
Mood:	frustrated

So wow its been a while since I've been on here but here we go.

I met this guy on the internet about 6 years ago. I talked to him for a while and the whole time I was talking to him all he did was lie to me. What guy wouldn't? It was over the phone so he made up stupid shit about how he was rich and how he had his own house. I wasn't sure if I loved this guy but I let him move him because he made me really happy. All he does is lie to my face and if this has ever happened to anyone who reads this you know that is the worst fucking thing ever. Its really hard to trust him and its so upseting because this is the guy who is telling me he loves me and wants to marry me? Well now I've gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore and he has bought his plane ticket back home. But now I'm so fucking upset I can't sleep at night. I've let someone live with me for a year, in my fucking house, that just lies to my face everyday. I can't understand how I could have been so stupid because now I'm the one who gets hurt in the end. Its really hard for me to understand why guys don't appreciate girls anymore? Girls fucking do everything for their boyfriends and all they do is shit on you. No matter what. No matter how long your dating or how much the piece of shit says they 'love' you. I helped this boy get out of debt. I helped him make new friends and try and get a band together. And what do i get in return? Absolutely nothing. A broken heart and me crying everytime I try and go to sleep.

Well I've learned my lesson.
But thats not gonna change the fact that guys have no respect for women.

And it makes me fucking sick to my stomach.

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply

Title:	Yeah deffinately
Date:	2007-10-15 @ 17:13
Security:	public
Music:	Modest Mouse

It has been a long time since I've used LJ. I usually write in my own journal but right now I'm on my laptop so whatever.

Some chick just messaged me about Blake. That is already something I don't want to be talking about, especially with some girl that knows blake and that I don't know. She keeps asking me why Blake killed himself. Noone is every going to know why, not me, not her, not his mom, not apollo. Noone. And for her to ask me something and then when she responds she says she knows EVERYSIDE to Blake.

GIrl I don't give a fuck who you are. Don't ask me something about a boy I loved and then tell me you don't care because you know everything.

Noone knows everything.
Alot of people don't know anything.

Death of your friends is a fucking hard situation to go through. To feel sadness for his family and all of his friends that miss him now makes it worse for me. I want everyone to realize that its noones fault and that when shitty situations like this one occur...

You just have to be strong.

Just think about the good times. Blake you were an amazing person to me. And even though your gone you mean more than anything to me.

To pluto and back baby.
-Panda O.O

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply

Title:	Music.
Date:	2007-04-04 @ 05:15
Security:	public

Hung out today.
Relaxed in the beautiful weather.
Did acid and drank with chezlo and some buddies.

I've found a couple songs so far that honestly put me in a very good mood and are very relaxing.

Modest Mouse- Float on
The Pixies- Where is my mind
Metric- Grow up n blow away
The Cranberries- Zombie

More..

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply

Title:	Support.
Date:	2007-02-19 @ 10:11
Security:	public

Music is my buisness. I'm all about supporting local punk bands.
Most of them need all of the help they can get.

THE FICTION
DIRTY ALLEYS DIRTY MINDS
OVERATED
KILL YOUR BRAINS
DOWNTRODN
LEGBONE
BLITZKID
ALL ACTION
TRICERATOPS

If you have the old Myspace look up these bands.
Thank you.

Its been a while since I've been motivated to write.
And if I do its always in my notebook.
I'll get it to it eventually.

-Panda

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply

Title:	AMAZING.
Date:	2007-02-07 @ 15:00
Security:	public
Music:	The Postal Service
Mood:	creative

CONFUSION!
So oh my god. Where do I start.

I go to Bernies last night. Just another drunk night at my second home. I was also working on my photojournalism project that I am doing on homeless people because the project is supposed to be of 'human intrest' and what not. So a guy comes up to me. He works at OSU in digital art meaning he does art but most of it involves computers. I told him that I am a photographer. But when It comes to my writting and my pictures I get very scared. I build them up to be good so I don't let anyone see them because I'm scared that they'll hate it or somethig strange. So his name is John Lathram. Hes a 45 year-old gay guy that is a sculpter and what not, odd I know. But he wants to collaberate with me. Which I think he wants me to take pictures and let him fuck around with them and what not. But he knows everyone, all the art galleries so maybe I can get a break? I'm so confused. I'm getting too excited because maybe I'm not that good. But I go to school and work and get drunk I don't do anything? Never in a million years would I think that I would actually be able to think of something that I want to do with my life. I think art is that. I've been very open to people lately when it comes to art. I wont lie I don't know everything and anything about art but I am so willing, more than anything in the the world, to learn.

He is brand new to the photography thing. He likes to sculpt and create things for himself so when other people see it they can't say "HEY! Oh that reminds me of.." Which is the only way to be an artist, orginality. I looked at his website as soon as I got home and for him starting out he is pretty good. And he has students that he is very hard on from what I hear so I'm very scared. I love hearing what other people think of my work but I hope this works out. I'm not afraid of rejection because this happening will make me try harder to find people that understand what I'm saying when it comes to art and what not.

He only has 5 or so pictures on his site that hes started out on this is my favorite one.

So you get my point.
I'm going to try not to get too excited about this.
This is what I want.
I need this to be happy I think.
I'm going to start getting out there with my writting and photography hopefully.
I need to suck it up if I'm going to do this , and do it right.

-Manda Panda

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: 1 reply :: Reply

Title:	I have alot of respect for this man.
Date:	2007-02-04 @ 18:19
Security:	public
Location:	In my bed.
Music:	None.
Mood:	thoughtful

So today a man

changed my life.

Me and Garrett go to Waffle House & I'm talking to one of the girls that I know that works there about her tattoo. I was telling her to get hers at the place that I got mine and she told me where she got hers and what not. So later into the conversation shes telling me that getting her tattoohurt and all that and there was a creepy looking guy behind us on his laptop listenening.

He starts to say how he got some and they didn't hurt at all. So the girl leaves and does her job and what not and he shows me his tattoo and tells me he got it in jail. Off the subject: Its amazing how you see people with tattoos that are very nice and look expensive and they get them in jail with some mascara and a safety pin. So hes talking to me about how people in there got tattoos on their dicks and heads and what not, crazy stuff.

So I'm just talking with this guy, drinking my coffee. So I never ask anyone I don't know why the went to jail because it seems kinda rude and off balance to me but I'm really outgoing and most people don't get upset about it because they know they deserved to go there.

So I ask. And he tells me he killed someone. Anyone else would have been scared and called him a "Murderer". I ask him who he murdered and he tells me that he killed his father in law, HIS WIFES DAD. Now how akward would it be to be married to a guy that you love and have kids with and he kills your dad? But theres more. His wifes dad, molested his 9 year old daughter. I was fucking BLOWN away. So his daughter told him what his father in law did and he turned him in. The guy was supposed to be in Jail for 1 year but only ended up getting sentenced for 3 months. So when the guy got out of Prison the guy that I was talking to went to the courthouse AS SOON as he got out and shot him in between the eyes.

Like I said most people would think he was a murderer. I respect the guy more than anything in the world. No, I don't plan on having kids anytime soon but If I ever do and someone even touches my kid in a sexually way I would fucking cut them up in peices.

The guy doesn't regret it and hes glad he went to jail because the man that if his WIFES DAD molested his little girl.
Good for him.

I have alot of respect for you dude.
I will never forget that man.
Ever.

:: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply

Advertisement

Advertisement